Thursday, November 7, 2013

"So how do we go to heaven?"

This rainbow appeared east on the evening of that day when baby Loreen passed away, reminding us about "hope."
 Last All Saints Day, my family visited the burial place of our dear daughter who died some days from birth five months ago.  Our three sons aged 8, 7, and 5 were with us.  They helped us clean the surroundings of the tomb, prayed with us, and laid flowers for their sister.  We ended our visit with some snacks at the burial site to which one of my kids remarked, “Kay tau met munpicpicnic!” (It seems as though we are having a picnic!)  It was not at first difficult to explain to him that the day is a day of remembrance and paying respect to loved ones who passed away as other families gathered too in many other tombs nearby.

“Nada ngay peman an maid ha bimmisita?” (How about those that do not have visitors?), he asked noticing some tombs where no flowers were laid.

“Ninomnom nan iiba ya aammod da muden agge da nakaali.  Wennu nungay bigat!” (They were remembered but their loved ones were not able to come.  Or maybe tomorrow!), I replied.

For my son, the experience did not end after we went home.  While having some nap the next day, he came beside me and asked, “On wahdi pay hi ading hi sementeryo? Ngon tau e tinigo hiyana hidi?” (Is our sister still in the cemetery?  Why did we visit her there?)

I had no immediate answer.  Would my child understand “body and soul” if he hears this concept?  Maybe not for now but he was waiting for me to talk so I have to let words come of my mouth.  “Wahdi mo hiyana hi heaven.  Muden nan adolna ya nilubuk hi sementeryo. (She is already in heaven.  But her body was buried at the cemetery).

If our sister did not go to heaven, where would she be?, he asked.

 If a dead don’t go to heaven, then the person goes to hell, I replied hoping I said in the simplest way without being misunderstood.

How do we go to heaven?, he followed up his question ensued by a barrage of many others.

If we are called by God, I replied.  If it were adult talk, I would have said by the mercy of God.

How does God call us?

Many ways. Like our baptism.

Are we baptized?

Yes you were when you were still infants.

Why do we need to be baptized?

To be sons and daughters of God.

So are we sons of Satan before we became sons of God?, he asked knocking me off my logic.

We were sons of God from the beginning but because we sinned, we were separated from him, I tried to regain myself with this answer.

Was our sister baptized?
She was not baptized by a priest, I honestly told him.

So she did not become a child of God?, this question knocked me off again a second time.

She did not commit any sin that is why she is still with God.

Our sister sinned, he said knocking my brain off a third time.

What sin did she commit?, I took it as a turn to ask a question.

She dirtied her diapers, was his answer.


I almost laughed but held my chuckle making sure that my son understand he began a solemn question-and-answer and that it should remain that way.  I explained to him that such kind of “sin” was not the kind of sin that separates us from God. I immediately got up and went out the room, making sure he won’t see me chuckling about how we ended the short discourse he started.


...and the sky was simply beautiful too that evening.
...and the west radiates wonderfully.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Scenes and Sceneries from a Cemetery

Is "life" and "death" one and the same?  Or is "life" and "death" two distinct things?

Sometime ago, in a drinking spree, someone brought this topic up and a half-tipsy group started pouring their ideas about it.  One said that “death” is the same as “life” and said that in the days that we say we are alive, we are simply burning out days of our death here on earth, and after we have our last breath, we go to our eternal death.  Thus, we are born to die and die to be born to our death.   This is something difficult for someone to understand and so another discussed the idea that “life” and “death” are different.  This is inasmuch as there are distinct characteristics of life and death, then, it should be a truth that life is different state from death.  Life means breathing, having emotions, etc.  Someone in a state of death does not have these characteristics.  But it was countered, if there was no light, the earth would be dark but is it not the same earth?  And so without life, we say there is death, but is it not the same life? Differently stated, without death, we say there is life, but is it not the same death?

There must really be no distinction or if there is, the line is so thin between life and death.  And literally in the following photo:

Outside the walls of this cemetery in La Trinidad, Benguet, Philippines, are houses for the living.  This is a common site in urban places.  It is a fact though that living in the midst of the dead, or being buried in the midst of the living is not just a product of urbanization as some cultures would want their dead kin buried in the vicinity of their houses.

Every November, people flock to burial grounds.  People light candles, lay flowers on and around the grave, gather with other living kin, and many other activities to remember/honor the dead kin.  This proves that the the wake and events during the wake are not the "last respects" to a dead kin.  Also, it proves that death is not the end of an existence.  Perhaps, life and death can be compared to the number line taught in elementary grades. We can draw a particular number line (say 0 to 75) but  the teacher would say, the line is infinite, i.e., there are numbers before zero and numbers after 75.

Families reunite with the the living and the dead on All Saints Day at the cemetery.  This may just be a physical manifestation of what has been from the "beginning" - there has always been that bond between people, and if it a true bond just like between kins, then the bond stays forever.

On this earth, very often there is a boundary between the rich and the poor.  I say "very often" because there are occasions when the "haves" treat the "have-nots" as their equal.  Life is about loving, a phrase often used to describe the I=You relations of rich = poor or haves = have-nots.  Even in death, distinctions are often set in terms of the physical attributes of the burial place.  Some can be said to be very lavish, others are modest. (Remember though that modesty in this case is relative, what maybe lavish for one can be modest for another)  But the beauty of a burial place cannot dissipate the fact that death sets the equality between people.  But even as death brings down people to equilibrum, it does not detach the dead from the living that even food for the living is "given" to the dead.

"Atang", food offered for the dead, is common in Philippine culture.  Picnic in the midst of the "dead" is also a common scene in Philippines burial grounds in November.
Whether we subscribe to the belief that life is the same as death or that life is different from death, both leads to the value of hope.  On one hand we say that we, the living, hope to be reunited with our dead kin in our activities on earth because we are in the same state as them.  On the other hand we say that we, the living, hope to be reunited with our dead kin in a future time because we will soon be in the same state as them.

People come and go at the cemetery of La Trinidad. On the background is the La Trinidad Strawberry Farm.

The northwest view from the cemetery.  The green scenery speaks well of the hopes that the cemetery visitors have for their loved ones.