The boy and his coin

As I was jogging my way this morning, I saw a boy by the side of a narrow but busy highway intently looking at the middle of the road.  I realized that he was waiting for a chance to pick up a coin that must have fallen off from the pocket of his loose school pants while running to his school.  But a lot of vehicles were fast passing by that by the looks of it, he will never have a chance of being able to retrieve his coin.  Then finally, a car stopped, perhaps the driver recognizing the coin and understanding the predicament of the boy.  Several other vehicles stopped behind the car but almost all where honking their horns obviously disgusted at the car that has just stopped.  But the driver patiently waited for the boy to pick his coin and return to safety before continuing his journey.

The scene led me back to a recent seminar I attended where as an “ice breaker”, the speaker let the audience loudly recite some sentences with the following thoughts:

I love my work and so I love to report everyday.

I feel valued as an employee.

I’ll have to do everything I can so I can get promoted.

The sentences made me ask my seatmate, “Don’t you think something is wrong with the third sentence?” I simply got a grin.  Perhaps my seatmate disagrees with what I was thinking.  My opinion is that in most workplaces today, there is that egocentric mindset among employees in advancing their careers.  “Doing everything” would sometimes include actions even if it means disregarding welfare of others.  It may not be direct but it is actually about harming colleagues.  It is understandable that when one gets promoted, one have the feeling of being valued and perhaps would foster love for work.   But how about others who may have been harmed in the process?  It is obvious not every one would get advancement in career at a single point of time and there a lot of other factors, but competition has got to be healthy.  Thus “doing everything” should be moderated to minimize egotism and cater more to solidarity at work.  It means “stopping” sometimes so others, just like the small boy, can have a chance to pick what is valuable to them.  But then life is a fast highway.

After getting to the sidewalk, the boy ran to the direction of his school.  I believe he was more than happy for having retrieved his coin which must be part of a meager pocket money for his snacks.  I wished the boy would one day remember that moment when a car stopped for him.  I wish that boy would also halt someday for others while reaching and even surpassing his own goals.

"Apay dayta naipullagid ta muging mu?"

"Apay dayta naipullagid ta muging mu?"

(What's that dirt on your forehead?)

My son wiped away the ashes on his forehead immediately after returning to his seat at church this morning. I asked him later why he did so and he didn’t offer any answer. I am sure though that he has in mind justifications which I presume would include 1) not fully understanding the ritual he just went through and 2) avoiding possible annoyance from his classmates when he would later go to school but just wouldn’t like to verbalize it.

This later slipped out of my mind until I met a friend who asked, “Apay dayta naipullagid ta mugging mu?”  I did not immediately answer.  In fact, I did not say a word until that person answered the question himself, “Ay wen gayam, As Wednesday tadta.” (Oh, I already know, today is Ash Wednesday.)

I think, people would like to avoid being asked these types of questions.  And one thing probably is to avoid a situation of being embarrassed or worse, even judged based on one’s answer.  One would be embarrassed for not knowing the reason for doing a thing, in this case, the ritual of ashes on the forehead.  And because it is a religious act, this can be easily a temptation for others to pass judgment like “agin-agin sasanto”(pretending to be saint).

Later, I was able to catch conversation among some young people I was following along the way.  One said to another “Ibabam ta buokmu tapno mailemmeng dayta kur-it ta mugingmu.” (Draw your hair lower so the mark on your forehead won’t be seen.)  This person went on to say, “Isunga madamdamaak pay makimisa tapnu rabiintun nga rumwarak ket awan makakita ti marka.” (Which is why I chose to attend mass late afternoon so it would already be dark when I gout of church).  The person being addressed seemed to agree with the suggestion but remarked, “Ngem makita ladta met ta ababa buokko. Ikattek na lang ngata?” (But it is still visible as I have short hair.  Maybe I would rather erase it?)  But a third friend said, “Nu haan nga tapnu makita, apay nga dita muging ti markaan da ngay? Dita kuma ubet ngarud ah.” (If it was not intended to be seen, why would they put the mark on the forehead?  The mark should have been on the buttocks.)

The conversation I was hearing brought me back to the exhortations before the marking.  The priest before inscribing a cross with ashes on the forehead would say, “Remember that you dust and unto dust you shall return.”  Another version is “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.”  From both lines, one can discern that the ritual is an invitation for a personal reflection.  The first version of the exhortation deals boldly on the certainty of death despite the overwhelming desire to prolong life.  The second version conveys straightforwardly that the mark on the forehead is not about being religious but rather the admittance of one’s sinfulness.  Yet both would end up on the reflection on hope – that this world is not the final destination and despite sinfulness, there is a God who is all merciful and very much willing to embrace the repentant.

I soon heard those young people I was following discuss “when you pray, do not do it in public” thus those ashes as personal prayer should not be publicly bragged about or even displayed.  On the other hand there was that “we are called to witness for others and thus evangelization thru the mark of the cross needs to be public.”  My way was soon out of their way and I didn’t know how their conversation was concluded.  But I guess it did end up with agreeing that the ashes “nga naipullagid iti muging” is something personal that could move one to action which is public in nature.  

Mompolia Mountains in My Mind

Huminal, Huminal-nal-nal-nal

Atugo,Atugo-goh-goh-goh

Palo, Palo-loh-loh-loh

Ginawwadad Mompolia

Malmalumong habalda

(Huminal, Atugo, Palo

They surrounded Mompolia

Where the mountain farms are fertile)

I recall this from a cheer in our elementary scouting event.  It came to mind when some friends and I thought of bike riding in my hometown Mompolia.  The route I am considering would trek through the mountains or at least would have each in sight.

Mt. Huminal as seen from the central part of Mompolia

Mt. Huminal sits in between Barangay Poblacion and Barangay Cababuyan, both in Hingyon Ifugao but is very much visible from Barangay Mompolia and along the way to Ubuag, another barangay of Hingyon.  The mountain was once known for water springing from above its base believed to be miraculous water.  There were people who claimed to have been healed of illnesses after drinking or bathing from water fetched from said spring.  Such claims did not hold water, so to speak, for long that at present nobody would have fresh claims of healing.  The mountain though remained green and surely contributes to the water supply of the town.

Mt. Palo

Mt. Palo borders Mompolia, Ubuag and parts of the municipality of Banaue.  It was once known as a hunting ground for wild pigs and deers although not much is heard of at present.  It is still thick with trees.  And a water system that supplies sitios in Mompolia comes from Palo.

Mt. Atugo as viewed from central Mompolia.  A rock known as Ulon Bugan (The Head of Bugan) is at its crest.  Bugan is the legendary Eve of Ifugao.

Mt. Atugo is being promoted by the municipality of Hingyon as an eco-tourism site.  It provides a view of parts of the towns of Hingyon, Lagawe and Kiangan, and up to as far as the province of Nueva Vizcaya.  It was once known too as a hunting ground.  Though there is not  much of residences there, a road has been paved to its summit purposely for the transport of products from swidden farms and tourism.

Huminal, Atugo, and Palo though are not the only mountains seen in and from Mompolia.  There is also Mt. Al-aliganga.  The mountain sits in between Huminal and Palo.  The road connecting Mompolia and Ubuag passes through the mountain.  It is a known burial ground and punhabalan (place for sidden farming) of ancestries from Ubuag and Mompolia.

Mt. Aliganga as viewed from Mompolia.  It's crown,  because of its shape is said to be Huhun Bugan (Breast of Bugan).

The group hopes to ride the mountains anytime soon.

Why am I running

Or , the more precise question is, why do I join in those activities called fun runs?

A photo of me in the last run I participated in.  I was among the last runners to arrive at the finish but still felt victorious. (Photo courtesy of a certified run enthusiast Hansen Buasen)

I first ran a race in 2011 without any concrete purpose.  Perhaps, it was really just for fun.  Then I ran some more races without any serious resolve.  I sat one time and pondered it with a pencil and paper on hand but the paper remained a blank sheet.  The pondering on my purpose for running was forgotten until lately when I asked the question to myself again.

I was in the middle of a half marathon when I stumbled.  I haven’t noticed and stepped into a canal on the paved sidewalk.  Intuitively, I braced myself with hand as my body hit the ground then I muttered, “Apay gamin nga tumartarayak aya?” (Why am I running?)

I reflected on that personal query as I slowed down feeling some very minor twist in my feet.  I recalled the previous races I joined at, about only ten, mused on the experiences and half-way through the race, I have three words on why I am running.

These are – Collect, Correct, and Connect!

Collect.  Organizers of run events have incentives for their runners.  The very first one is the race kit that would include a singlet or a shirt.  So it is like buying a new shirt but the feeling is different of course with logo of the event as you can’t just buy it from department store.  There are of course certificates of participation or finisher certificate at the end of races and these are good keepsakes especially when the run was for a cause or indicates some historic event or indicates the finish time as record of a personal milestone.  The finisher shirt and medallions in half-marathons, marathons, and ultra-marathons are also some nice things to collect during runs.  Well there too are the cash prizes, medals and certificates for top finishers.

My very first (and only) trophy for running came when there was really no significant competition.  Then, I ran alongside my sister in a “buddy run” and we were the first in the mix (male-female) category.  Our fellow runners in this category were mostly young lovers who were perceptibly more interested in their time together rather than winning a race.  Even then, it the trophy was such a nice display on top of the cabinet at home.

Correct.  Someone said that most of diseases in the present age are caused by lack of mobility.  Exercise is one of the solutions.  I find calisthenics to be boring.  Sports are much more exciting.  But honestly, I rate myself poor at most sports.  Running was the easiest to do.  There could be some art and skills involved in this exercise but the lack of it won’t be noticeable while running.  I feel muscle pain every after a run.  My friend said those natural pains are signs of healing.  It is the body correcting what could be wrong in its system.

Aside from the physical gain, joining runs correct some notions about the activity.  For instance, I once thought that paying some registration fee then tiring oneself in the process of running is a crazy thing to do.  But eventually, I found it worthy.

Connect.  Connecting with/to people is one I value most in fun runs.  People, including those who you don’t know personally, say hello before the starting gun fires.  People you meet along the route greets you.  Runs are a way feeling that we live in a friendly world.

In the last run I participated, it was a friend who invited me into it.  We were at least five from the same workplace.  We had a nice meal together after the run.  Fellowship – it was what that run gave.

Runs are also a way of connecting with nature.  The sunrise, as runs are usually before daybreak, the trees, birds, and flowers along the way, and even the mosses that make slippery the path, are a nice reminder of how Mother Earth was so full of source of happiness.

It is a way to connect to oneself.    In the last ran, I felt hunger in almost half part of it.  There are stores along the way, but had no money in my pocket.  But I remain determined to finish the race even if it means I would just simply walk as I ad no energy to run.  Then at the finish line, I felt victorious even if I am among the last runners to arrive.

Then as I summarized my reflection, which I now call the three C’s of my running activity, I affirmed a conclusion a friend of mine shared in the past.  That running is like life itself.  I had no purpose on my first run.  But then I am trying to realize now some purpose.  Just like life, people do not realize a purpose of living at birth but would soon have them as they are into living.

Men are source of stress to Women...

Men are source of stress to women,  as women are a source of stress to men too.

This was the conclusion met at a recent seminar I attended where stress management was a topic.  Because the session was a small group, the speaker deemed it best that participants could learn very well thru an activity.  The group was further divided into two - one group for the men and the other group for the women.

The activity was for each group to answer two questions - 1) What are the top main source of stress of your gender and how were you able to handle it? 2) What do you think are the main source of stress of the other gender and how do you think are they coping with it?  No copying of answers from the other group, was the instruction.

Our group - the group of men listed the following key words as the source of stresses for men - finance, family, work, boss, and the opposite gender.   It came out during the group discussion that "finance" is problem because aside from the reality that it is in the culture that fathers are looked up to as the supposed breadwinner, often it is the wife who controls the family purse thus it can happen that men lacks allowances for personal expenses.  At work, there is that problem about women gossip.  And according to some, a woman boss is difficult to get along with.  Thus, the fifth listed source - opposite sex - didn't need further explanation.  Among the listed coping mechanism (as far as I can remember listed) were drinking (alcoholic drinks), listening to music including those at a bar, increased physical activity such as jogging, beer, and more beer, and sauna massage (pronounced as sa una masahe.)

As to the second question, the group listed same keywords related to finance, family, work, boss, and men.  "Finance" because women tend to spenders.  "Family" because they are what culture dictates to be the carers.  Work because they may not get along with coworkers and bosses, are talkers, among others.  And "men" because as from their husband they expect the touch/sex but often none came. Their coping mechanism, the men group thought, were social media, gossip, nagging their husband, beautifying themselves.

When the output was presented to the entire, there were generally murmurs and cheers of agreement from the women.

It shows in the presentation that women listed too matters relating to finances, family, work, human relations, and the opposite gender as the source of stress for women and men.  In the presentation, the women group leader expounded on some reality that some men as a coping mechanism have theirother women apart from their wife.  But in turn this situation becomes a source of stress because aside from thinking about how to sustain financially the other woman, she is a stressor when time comes that she would give up on the relationship.  The women group aside from discussing their point of view of what the men's group has already presented, added that as coping mechanism, attendance of both gender to sessions that discusses gender and gender differences.  This would include retreats and marriage encounters or counselling seminars that are usually sponsored by religious or civil society organizations.

Later, it was synthesized that men and women can manage their stress if they recognize their differences including hormonal and emotional ones.

Indeed men and women can solve stress together when they put on the table their agenda for better understanding, and respect from and for both gender group.

Lost

Burnham Park, Baguio City. Full Moon Christmas evening.  In a crowd, one could easily get lost.

In the evening last Friday, Christmas Day, we went to Burnham Park to walk through the “Christmas Village” that the local government of Baguio has put up for its citizens and visitors. There’s crowd when we arrived that the immediate instruction to the kids was to behave so they won’t get lost. But kids are kids and they would just insert themselves between people. The hands has to be strong to restrain them from going far or if it happens that their hands slip out, the eyes has got to be quick to spot where they would be. Then at a grassy flat area, their mother and I spotted some kids who were simply seated. “If only you were just like those kids...,” we told our kids.

We noticed something odd though – the kids were by themselves. The oldest is boy about ten years old. Behind him was seated a toddler and another kid deep in sleep. One of our kids, without being prompted, got near them, perhaps to befriend them. And since our son was conversing with them, we also got near them. My son reported that he already got the name of the oldest, and also informed us that these kids were by themselves because their mother returned to some store they came from to find their sister who was “lost”. We learned that they were from a mining village about an hour or so from the city. His toddler sibling is only about two years old. And they’re here at the park since the time the sun was going down. It was already seven-thirty on my phone which means these kids are more than two hours alone, but still behaving on their mat at the grass in a chilly evening. We have already gone around the tiny houses and are actually about to go home when we spotted the kids. But my wife, our two sisters who were also with us, were not comfortable leaving having known the situation of the kids.

My children talking to the kid at the park.

I thought of informing the nearby police station about the kids. Along the way, I met a police officer who was on patrol. I informed him about the kids and he gladly asked where they were as he agreed they really needed assistance. When we were at the kids’ spot, he immediately recognized by their faces that they must also be the kids of a woman who sought their assistance earlier about a lost child. He said that had they known that the woman still had children left on the park, they would have accommodated the kids in their office than being left in the chilly open space. He assured that he will watch over the kids as he cannot bring them to their office as there would be no one to inform the mother in case she returns.

There was some relief in us but still we lingered a little longer farther away, our eyes still on the kids. Some minutes later, a man arrived and the police officer talked to him briefly. He must be the father or a relative called by the mother to assist them. A few seconds later, they were joined by a woman and a little girl. She must be the mother as she immediately lifted the toddler and began breastfeeding her. We did not bother to get back to them to know their story but are happy heading home with what was obviously a happy ending.

This incident kept me thinking what if the experience of the woman happened to me. I will surely do as she did – going back to find my child. The word “lost” lingered a little longer in mind and soon on the many other ways of “becoming lost.” In the present crowd of things, it is so easy to get lost. In fact, I realized that I myself am somehow lost in the crowd of things that keeps the hands busy. I was so grateful of the long weekend – and the experience of the lost kids – to realize being lost and hopefully somehow figure out way to find one’s self. The experience of finding is surely a happy ending.

Unseen entities and dealing with them

After six stitches and an X-ray, my sister was cleared to go home.  Arriving home, we talked about how it happened that her head was knocked on a stone.  She said it was as if someone pushed her that she slipped and it was also as if a force shoved her head onto the stone with the sharp edges on the ground.  Did she see anyone? No.  I told her neither did I saw someone when I passed by her sweeping nor did I see anyone when I came to her aid.  She was of course defensive and emphasized that she said it was only “as if” or “like” and not that someone shoved her.

My sister-in-law, who lives with us, said that there be could be someone unseen who did push my sister.  She pointed out the incident all of us witnessed when the laborers of a road being constructed placed lighted candles on the spot they bulldozed as according to them the frequent shutdown of the engines of their equipment while doing work there is abnormal.  That spot was just a couple of meters from where my sister fell.

When I told the story of the laborers to some officemates, they said that the place near our house which is now the path of the new road construction was once a greenhouse where a farmer was suffocated to death.  Then I recalled that some two years ago, the previous occupants of what is now our residence came back to perform a ritual on that spot where my sister had been hurt.  They came with a native chicken with its feet tied and let it leap around the spot.  According to one of those who came (who apologized for barging in the premises without permission) they were trying to determine the actual spot where they buried two embryos who were not born due to miscarriage so they could take some soil and do further rituals to appease the spirits.  The last spot where the chicken settled was where they took the soil for their ritual.  With these two accounts, it is then possible that some restless souls are just around our location.

That made me google “how to deal with restless souls.”  My search led to the more encompassing subject of unseen entities like evil spirits and other unseen mystical beings.

My native Ifugao upbringing reminded me of “pinading” that guards rivers, springs, forests, or some particular spots.  Where I live now is not Ifugao but friends from here tell of some similar belief.  Our residence is near a creek so the possibility of “pinading” is there.

I came across an article that says one of the favorite dwelling of unseen spirits are old structures.  My household is now living in a house which is estimated to be about fifty years old.  So could it be old enough to be a dwelling of unseen entities?  The article also says that the unseen entities become furious when there is disturbance in their habitat.  The road construction nearby is surely a disturbance on their part if they exist there as there is movement of soil and cutting of trees.

In the end though, we still concluded that my sister’s incident was an accident.  She stumbled on some pebbles probably then the laws of physics got her head hitting a sharp stone.  The presence of unseen entities could also possibly be true.  

Unseen entities do exist and they could just be present anywhere.  People just have to co-exist with them and hopefully, in a peaceful manner.  For restless souls, they need prayers.  For evil spirits, the armor from the Almighty is needed to defeat them.  And for the unseen entities that also guards nature, people must be one with them.