"Apay dayta naipullagid ta muging mu?"
(What's that dirt on your forehead?)
My son wiped away the ashes on his forehead immediately after returning
to his seat at church this morning. I asked him later why he did so and he didn’t
offer any answer. I am sure though that he has in mind justifications which I
presume would include 1) not fully understanding the ritual he just went
through and 2) avoiding possible annoyance from his classmates when he would
later go to school but just wouldn’t like to verbalize it.
This later slipped out of my mind until I met a friend who
asked, “Apay dayta naipullagid ta mugging mu?”
I did not immediately answer. In
fact, I did not say a word until that person answered the question himself, “Ay
wen gayam, As Wednesday tadta.” (Oh, I already know, today is Ash Wednesday.)
I think, people would like to avoid being asked these types of
questions. And one thing probably is to
avoid a situation of being embarrassed or worse, even judged based on one’s
answer. One would be embarrassed for not
knowing the reason for doing a thing, in this case, the ritual of ashes on the
forehead. And because it is a religious
act, this can be easily a temptation for others to pass judgment like “agin-agin
sasanto”(pretending to be saint).
Later, I was able to catch conversation among some young people
I was following along the way. One said
to another “Ibabam ta buokmu tapno mailemmeng dayta kur-it ta mugingmu.” (Draw
your hair lower so the mark on your forehead won’t be seen.) This person went on to say, “Isunga
madamdamaak pay makimisa tapnu rabiintun nga rumwarak ket awan makakita ti
marka.” (Which is why I chose to attend mass late afternoon so it would already
be dark when I gout of church). The
person being addressed seemed to agree with the suggestion but remarked, “Ngem makita
ladta met ta ababa buokko. Ikattek na lang ngata?” (But it is still visible as
I have short hair. Maybe I would rather
erase it?) But a third friend said, “Nu
haan nga tapnu makita, apay nga dita muging ti markaan da ngay? Dita kuma ubet
ngarud ah.” (If it was not intended to be seen, why would they put the mark on
the forehead? The mark should have been
on the buttocks.)
The conversation I was hearing brought me back to the
exhortations before the marking. The
priest before inscribing a cross with ashes on the forehead would say, “Remember
that you dust and unto dust you shall return.”
Another version is “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.” From both lines, one can discern that the ritual
is an invitation for a personal reflection.
The first version of the exhortation deals boldly on the certainty of
death despite the overwhelming desire to prolong life. The second version conveys straightforwardly that
the mark on the forehead is not about being religious but rather the admittance
of one’s sinfulness. Yet both would end
up on the reflection on hope – that this world is not the final destination and
despite sinfulness, there is a God who is all merciful and very much willing to
embrace the repentant.
